Thoughtful Yummy-ness

As I sit here eating my slice of chocolate tuxedo cheesecake, I am relishing every bite of the sumptuous dessert masterpiece and thinking about things that make me happy. Some of these things include: spending time with good friends and family, reading books that I can get lost in, drinking hot cocoa on a cold winter's day, listening to a classic car growl as it is driven up to a show or better yet getting a ride in one of those classic beauties, making people laugh, running outside all bundled up in layers until spring, hearing a favorite song on the radio, falling asleep on a summer's night with the windows open and a gentle breeze coming into my room, dancing in the rain with or without my favorite umbrella, getting a genuine compliment, having a cute guy smile at me, or listening to the giggles of my one of my friend's twins. And the list goes on and on. But, truly I am grateful for the life I have. And I think sometimes we lose sight of what we possess versus dwelling on what we don't have.

Have you stopped to give thought lately as to what makes you happy in your life? You might be surprised how delicious your world really is...

*Photo from Cheesecake Factory

Why can’t I be you?

We’ve all done it – wanted to live someone else’s life. I remember, years ago, when I was miserable in my job; my 45 minute commute seemed like forever. I would watch people who were jogging or walking leisurely in my neighborhood or on the streets I passed to get to the highway and wondered, “What do they do for a living?” Maybe they had a wealthy spouse and they didn’t have to work. Perhaps they were freelancers who set their own schedule and worked out of their homes. Who knows, maybe they had won the lotto and were now independently wealthy?

Whatever the case may have been with any of these people, I could only imagine, wonder, pine for their life. However I had no idea what happened behind the closed doors of their homes, the activities they participated in, the way they earned their livings. Therefore, being jealous of their lives was rather silly.

I realize now, after having been unemployed for over a year and being one of those people who took morning walks and jogs while the rest of the world was driving their cars to their workplaces, rushing not to be late, sipping from their coffee cups to wake up, someone passing me by on their commute might have, in fact, wondered about me.

And despite the fact I could set my own schedule and do things like go for long walks or sleep in a little later, or even meet someone at 2:00 in the afternoon for coffee and sit for a few hours to chat and brainstorm, inside of me I was frantically pondering how much longer until I became a working citizen again. I liked one aspect of my “freedom” but the other part of me wanted health benefits and a salary that would help me not to worry about every penny I spent. I wanted to feel like I was contributing my skills and knowledge and being useful in society.

I do admit, while I am grateful now for a job where I work with amazing people and have so much possibility to learn and grow, I do still long for the life of those who can make their days their own. However, I’ve started to realize that no matter how great we think someone else has it, maybe we need to stop and realize our lives can be whatever we want and we don’t need to try to live anyone else’s.

Do you have aspects about your life that you think others might secretly be wishing they had in their lives? You never know who might be wanting to be you.

Everything Happens For a Reason...

A breakup. A new job. A death. A move. When friends part ways.

Just a few of the major events in the lives of people I know, including myself. And these events shape us, change us, move us forward. Or, in some cases, move us in a completely new direction.

I was talking with a friend today about how lately I've felt like I'm the backwards version of Robert Frost's "I took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference." I feel like I've taken the road everyone's traveled and I haven't really blazed my own trail. I haven't really done anything with my life. I've played it safe. And gosh darn it, I want to stop doing the same thing, following the same pattern. I need to risk more and perhaps I will gain more.

I've been told, "Everything happens for a reason." And I want to believe this is true. Sometimes it doesn't feel true, but I can't prove otherwise. I mean sometimes we don't know why something has happened in our life until many days, weeks, months or even years later. And maybe we never know why certain things happen. But maybe we're not supposed to. Even so, it's almost comforting to know that perhaps whatever we do is our life. Or maybe not so comforting? Hmmmm...I'm still contemplating this concept.

So, perhaps all the choices I've made so far have led me to this point in my life, for a reason. I mean, why not right? And while I don't know what the reason is yet, I am willing to explore the possibility that I have some more choices to make, easy and hard. I will take those chances, er choices, to make a life for myself that I am proud of. A life that I am excited to be living.

That being said, I know that whatever choices I make, however small or large, will shape my future. That's a given. And while I am always hoping that the choices I make will lead me to someplace I'm truly happy with, I have to accept that there are bound to be many more mistakes and misjudgements, mixed in with happy accidents and kismet.

So, I'm gonna bypass the "road more traveled" and opt instead to kick a few stones and scuff the dirt to create a path all my own. I urge those who read this to do the same.

Carpe Diem!

My Life, or Something Like It...

It's Sunday. Not much going on. It snowed last night, so I've been inside most of the day. Contemplating going outside. Being cooped up in my place has definitely given me more time to think.

Just called my mom and asked if she wanted to go for a walk. She declined. I said "Well, since you work I can't call you and ask you to go for a walk in the middle of the day during the week." And she replied: "Well, soon you won't be able to go for a walk during the day either. Don't you want a job?"

And, of course, the good girl that I am, replied, "Yes, of course. But I want a job I want, not just any ole job."

Truthfully, if my mischievous alter ego had a chance to respond she'd say, "I don't want just a job, I want a life. I want to live unconventionally. I want to write and take photos and travel. I want to explore the world. I don't want to be tied down to a nine-to-five existence."

Not only do I want a life, I want to meet a great man who's interesting, charming, smart, sexy as hell and hilarious. A man who thinks I'm fabulous, even on my bad days. One I can talk to and share my most intimate thoughts with. Someone who challenges me, roots for me. Someone who I can build up and motivate and flirt with, as well as lean on when I'm not as strong as I like to believe I am. Someone who gets me; someone I connect with, click with.

And with this "partner in crime," per se, I want to live a life that's fun and exciting to me, to us, with just the right amount of drama added in. I want to be free, to take risks, and to not just do things because everyone else would agree with them or say - "That's how I'd do it."

Is that too much to ask?