Happy Valentine's Day

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen, Love and Death

While I'm not a big Woody Allen fan, I do find that quote rather amusing. In essence, as we all know, love is a tough concept to pinpoint, to define. Each of us has had our own experiences with love and it's hard to say what it means to any one person. Therefore my wish today is that we all celebrate the people or activities in our life that bring us joy and make this day-to-day journey worth living.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Growth

Every spring the trees sprout leaves and the flowers rise up from their winter hibernation to shower us with their beauty. It's a time of rebirth, an awakening. It's a time for people to start leaving their homes more often to enjoy the great outdoors.

While it's not spring here yet (thanks Puxatony Phil) I find myself on a path of growth and discovery much like the buds and bushes experience when the icy weather begins to thaw. I'm realizing that holding on too tightly to the past -- possessions and people -- is not healthy for me. Gee, ya think? Maybe that's not a huge revelation, but I have had the tendency to grasp, cling and dwell too long and too hard, putting too much energy and effort into situations that only caused me harm.

I am tired of fighting losing battles. I am tired of feeling hurt, or like a fool. I'm tired of coming in second and exerting too much of myself towards people who don't have the time to return the same type of energy. Therefore I am releasing myself from those things, situations and persons that are toxic to me.

'Nuff said. I challenge you to let go of whatever you need to that is weighing you down.

Past Present

"[She] doesn't cry now; she's far too busy for anything like that. Still, there are mornings when she wakes with tears in her eyes. That's when she knows she's been dreaming about him. And although she never remembers her dreams, there's always the scent of grass on her pillow, as if the past were something that could come back to you, if you only wished hard enough, if you were brave enough to call out his name." from Alice Hoffman's Here on Earth.

Have you ever wanted to talk to someone so badly but you can't? And it's not because this person died, or even moved away. It's just that you can't be in their life anymore. Although you might hear about him or her from other people once in awhile, see a photo of that person, you know, in your heart, you can never talk to this person again? Even if you could, what would you say? What good would it really do?

Lately, I've been thinking about a person from my life, past life if you will, and wishing I could turn back the clock to see him, talk to them, get a hug, maybe a kiss. It feels as though I am in a dream. A dream where everyone else can communicate with this person but even tho I am thisclose to touching him, whispering his name, he can't see or hear me because essentially, I'm invisible to him.

And while I know it's for the best, I know it won't do any good to try to see or speak to this person, my heart still aches and I miss him sometimes. I miss the part of my life he filled. The way he made me laugh and the way he made me feel.

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Is there someone you feel you can almost reach, but somehow can't? Someone you miss from your past? I'd love to hear your stories...