Past Present

"[She] doesn't cry now; she's far too busy for anything like that. Still, there are mornings when she wakes with tears in her eyes. That's when she knows she's been dreaming about him. And although she never remembers her dreams, there's always the scent of grass on her pillow, as if the past were something that could come back to you, if you only wished hard enough, if you were brave enough to call out his name." from Alice Hoffman's Here on Earth.

Have you ever wanted to talk to someone so badly but you can't? And it's not because this person died, or even moved away. It's just that you can't be in their life anymore. Although you might hear about him or her from other people once in awhile, see a photo of that person, you know, in your heart, you can never talk to this person again? Even if you could, what would you say? What good would it really do?

Lately, I've been thinking about a person from my life, past life if you will, and wishing I could turn back the clock to see him, talk to them, get a hug, maybe a kiss. It feels as though I am in a dream. A dream where everyone else can communicate with this person but even tho I am thisclose to touching him, whispering his name, he can't see or hear me because essentially, I'm invisible to him.

And while I know it's for the best, I know it won't do any good to try to see or speak to this person, my heart still aches and I miss him sometimes. I miss the part of my life he filled. The way he made me laugh and the way he made me feel.

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Is there someone you feel you can almost reach, but somehow can't? Someone you miss from your past? I'd love to hear your stories...