What Lies Ahead

Change. A concept that is feared by some, embraced by others.

Lately, it's the topic of much discussion between me and several of my friends. That yearning to shake things up a bit. Whether moving out of state, moving out of their current home, going to school, finding a new job, finding a new career, breaking up with someone, starting to date someone new, it's the possibility that things in our lives can somehow be different.

But...therein lies the challenge. How much do we want that change? How do we know it's time? What do we do to make it happen? And how much do we risk in making that change?

Sometimes it's better to try than to look back, years from now, and wonder. Because as a good friend of mine said to me the other day - you have to make mistakes to grow. If you make a mistake, you learn. And I think that's a wonderful concept. One I'm going to hold onto as I keep striding down this road towards my unknown, my next step in my journey of change.

And I encourage you to grab a hold of what your dream, your idea of change, your concept of something new is. Don't be scared of it, don't let it stop you. Remember, if you make a mistake, it's okay.

As Anais Nin once said, "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." And to quote Erica Jong, "And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk more."

So, go and be bold! The world is yours!

Here and Now

Why is it that we are never content with what we have? Why are we always searching for something else? Do we not know that we have talents we can use right now, we have dreams we can fulfill? I guess I say this because I've been doing a little bit of cleaning around my home and find myself ensconced in nostalgia.

Ah, memories. Of what we once wanted, of what we think we can never have. I find that I have not changed that much over the years, and yet I have changed a lot. Contradiction? Perhaps. Or possibly growth. The realization that we have parts of us that will always want or need certain things, and then there are those other sides to us, ones we may not let the world see, that are actually pushing us, secretly, further. Pushing us to explore and go where we think we cannot.

I'm hoping that I can use those hidden motivators, as they do sneak up on me, and burst out of my rut, and into the beyond. Into that future, that for now seems a little daunting, but when I look back in a few years, I will understand that it is what I needed, more than anything, at this time in my life.

And while I may be taking two steps forward, I might need to take one step back. But I will get there, wherever it is I'm supposed to be. Until then, I'm just going to remember that time waits for no one, and I will try to enjoy what I do have in my life, right now. That's very important. At least I think so.

What do you do to motivate yourself? How do you conquer the daily grind and still exlore your passions?

Shout Out

During this past week I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I'm happy and excited, the next I'm nervous, stressed and feeling like I'm about to have a panic attack. I can't believe tomorrow is already Friday! Each day I wake up and feel like I have to figure everything out in that day!

And while I'm learning that perhaps I need to calm down, breathe and just realize this time now is for me, and I can make it how I want, I still get that twitchy feeling in my stomach and this voice in my head that taunts me saying, "What do you want? How do you see your life?"

As I fight this internal battle, I am starting to learn something, not only about myself, but about my friends. I have the greatest friends a girl could ask for. Whether it's support via the internet, on the phone, or in person, I have a wonderful network of people in my world and I hope you all know who you are. They are all rooting for me, being there for me and I wouldn't be able to get through each and every day without them.

So, for tonight, I want to send a shout out to all my friends and say thank you for being there - for giving me advice, for listening, for helping me to stop for a minute and understand that I need to take this journey one day at a time. I'll get there.

My Life, or Something Like It...

It's Sunday. Not much going on. It snowed last night, so I've been inside most of the day. Contemplating going outside. Being cooped up in my place has definitely given me more time to think.

Just called my mom and asked if she wanted to go for a walk. She declined. I said "Well, since you work I can't call you and ask you to go for a walk in the middle of the day during the week." And she replied: "Well, soon you won't be able to go for a walk during the day either. Don't you want a job?"

And, of course, the good girl that I am, replied, "Yes, of course. But I want a job I want, not just any ole job."

Truthfully, if my mischievous alter ego had a chance to respond she'd say, "I don't want just a job, I want a life. I want to live unconventionally. I want to write and take photos and travel. I want to explore the world. I don't want to be tied down to a nine-to-five existence."

Not only do I want a life, I want to meet a great man who's interesting, charming, smart, sexy as hell and hilarious. A man who thinks I'm fabulous, even on my bad days. One I can talk to and share my most intimate thoughts with. Someone who challenges me, roots for me. Someone who I can build up and motivate and flirt with, as well as lean on when I'm not as strong as I like to believe I am. Someone who gets me; someone I connect with, click with.

And with this "partner in crime," per se, I want to live a life that's fun and exciting to me, to us, with just the right amount of drama added in. I want to be free, to take risks, and to not just do things because everyone else would agree with them or say - "That's how I'd do it."

Is that too much to ask?

Go For It!

Hello everyone,

Just having some fun in my blog and thought I'd try adding a photo. I'm not sure what I wanted to say, but that's probably because I'm not quite awake yet as I haven't gone for my morning run.

Therefore while I digest my breakfast and do a few stretches, I thought I'd pose a question. If you could do anything and knew you wouldn't fail at it, what would you do?

I'd be curious to hear some of your thoughts. Have a groovy day!

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Hello!
For those of you who have found my blog, welcome. I'm a "blogger virgin" so bear with me. However, as a writer, a creative type, if you will, I'm excited to share some of my thoughts with all of you. Today I am just starting out in this world of blogging, but it's apropos for my current state of mind.

For the past few weeks, I've been on a "temporary retirement" from work and trying to figure out what my next adventure will be. I'm debating leaving the New England area for warmer climates, or even thousands of miles. I'm grappling with a dilemma the Clash defines for me so well, "Should I stay or should I go now?"

Do I leave the familiar or do I stay? And whether I stay or go, what am I going to do here or there? Will I try to be a freelancer? Will I work for a big corporation or a smaller agency? Do I want to write for a living? Do I even want to be in communications?

I was telling my friend over lunch, I worry that if I leave everyone and everything behind that I know, will I get homesick and lonely and all for a job? But if I stay, will I always be wondering what else is out there for me?

So much to think about, or in my case, overthink about. But, I know I will get there. At least I hope so. I kind of have to. Any ideas? Any thoughts? If anyone wants to share any insights I'd be happy to have them.